a hashtag

Another name

becomes another hashtag

Another life

comes to an end

and a number sign

is placed in front of a name

a life

becomes a death

becomes a number

We’re animals.

We want what we want.

We do what we want.

We

nurture

fuck

love

kill

what we want.

God’s basic creatures

of the Universe

or whatever.

but killing people

because of their skin color

is something

true

of

our

breed.

and I can’t seem

to swallow this.

I’m a gay man-

I’m queer.

And I've learned lessons

from certain marginalization.

but does that give me the right

to speak now.

I'm choking on my white privilege.

privilege I didn't earn

and I don't know what to do with.

so I write a poem

and another poem

I talk about it at lunch

I talk about it with my friends

I make a

social media post.

I use

Alton Sterling's

hashtag.

We’re connected

group texts

Our

telephones

capture

truths

“truths”

filtered

lives

Deaths.

We understand now

that’s it’s been this way.

Police

have a tendency

to kill

black people.

Confederate Flag

Black Lives Matter

This country’s history

but we’re still in it.

I see people smiling in selfies.

An art

that I enjoy

but I can’t do it today

and I don’t know how anyone can smile

today

it feels like

Orlando

Sandra Bland

Trayvon Martin

Sandy Hook

Columbine

but different

but the same

this is my basic gay millennial lyfe

and I don’t think I understood

fully

that this is still happening.

He tells me

to appreciate what we have

because tragedies happens every day

Is this what being an adult is suppose to feel like?

so I go back to taking a

#gay# boi #selfay

because this is what I know

what I’ve gathered thus far

but sometimes truths consume you.

it’s like a right of passage

I can’t accept

it’s like a loss of innocence

that I’m fucking clinging to.

and it happened again.

Philando Castile's life

became a number

a number sign

put before his name

a hashtag.

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