a hashtag

July 7, 2016

Another name

becomes another hashtag

Another life

comes to an end

and a number sign

is placed in front of a name

a life

becomes a death

becomes a number 

 

We’re animals.

 

We want what we want.

We do what we want.

We

nurture

fuck

love

kill

 

what we want.

 

God’s basic creatures

of the Universe

 

or whatever.

 

but killing people

because of their skin color

is something

true

of 

our 

breed. 

 

and I can’t seem

to swallow this.

 

I’m a gay man-

 

I’m queer.

 

And I've learned lessons

from certain marginalization.  

 

but does that give me the right

to speak now. 

 

I'm choking on my white privilege. 

 

privilege I didn't earn

and I don't know what to do with. 

 

so I write a poem

and another poem

I talk about it at lunch

I talk about it with my friends

I make a 

 

social media post.

 

I use

Alton Sterling's

hashtag. 

 

We’re connected

group texts

Our 

telephones 

capture

truths

“truths”

filtered 

lives

 

Deaths.

 

We understand now

that’s it’s been this way.

 

Police 

have a tendency

to kill

black people.

 

Confederate Flag

Black Lives Matter

 

This country’s history

 

but we’re still in it.

 

I see people smiling in selfies.

An art 

that I enjoy

but I can’t do it today

and I don’t know how anyone can smile

today

 

it feels like

Orlando

Sandra Bland

Trayvon Martin

Sandy Hook

Columbine

 

but different

but the same

 

this is my basic gay millennial lyfe

and I don’t think I understood

fully

that this is still happening.

 

 

He tells me

to appreciate what we have

because tragedies happens every day

 

Is this what being an adult is suppose to feel like?

 

so I go back to taking a 

#gay# boi #selfay

because this is what I know

what I’ve gathered thus far

 

 

but sometimes truths consume you.

 

it’s like a right of passage

I can’t accept

 

it’s like a loss of innocence

 

that I’m fucking clinging to. 

 

 

 

and it happened again.

 

Philando Castile's life

became a number

a number sign 

put before his name

 

a hashtag. 

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